Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize