I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize