you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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