I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
