She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
