You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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