I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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