i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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