1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
