He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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