if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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