i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
