after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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