so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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