this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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