dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize