Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize