i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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