I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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