I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
