I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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