I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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