The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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