I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
