I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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