i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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