why didn't you poke me back
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize