singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
