You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
