Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize