My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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