the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
