yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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