I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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