brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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