She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The feeling are messing with the penis
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
