Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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