i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
