Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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