Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
