I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
