I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
