I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
