i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
