she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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