Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
