Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
