I am spending my child support on dildos
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
