She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
