let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize