So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
