THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
