there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
