Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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