not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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