just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
