She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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