If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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