Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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