Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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