Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.

Fav 13 781 3198
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

Fav 30 1098 3558
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(937): View more from Ohio

there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts

Fav 28 5641 844
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(917): View more from New York City

He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

Fav 45 1328 6871
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

Fav 23 6012 3698
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(519): View more from Ontario

so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.

Fav 26 4392 1592
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

Fav 6 1479 981
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

Fav 2 1086 519
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning

Fav 0 40 5
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