bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
