that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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