i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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