Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
