O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
