Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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